One Year Later: Living With PMDD
A quick note: I'm sharing my personal experience with PMDD, not medical advice. What has worked for me may not work for everyone. If you're struggling, please reach out to a healthcare professional who can help you find the support and treatment that's right for you.
You don't have to navigate mental health challenges alone. JCS offers resources and support services that may be helpful. If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health crisis or needs immediate support, call or text 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, anytime, 24/7.
A lot can change in one year.
Last June, I had a huge wake-up call. I was just over a year postpartum with my third baby and experiencing intense rage and overwhelming anxiety. It was in that moment that I decided I needed to save myself.
Around that time, I came across a Reese Witherspoon quote that put words to exactly what I was feeling:
"You realize that no one is coming to save you. You were going to have to save yourself... In that moment you became your own lifesaver. A self-caring floatable device that you could depend on that you have inside yourself. You saved yourself and you're going to do it again and again."
That was exactly it. No one else could make the phone calls, schedule the appointments, prioritize my mental health, or advocate for the care I needed. I had to be my own lifesaver.
Months before this pivotal moment, I suspected I had PMDD, also known as Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder, a severe form of premenstrual syndrome (PMS). After plenty of late-night Googling and armchair diagnosing, my suspicions were eventually confirmed by my doctor. Together, we started building a treatment plan.
Having PMDD basically means I'm especially sensitive to the hormonal changes that happen during the luteal phase of my cycle. My doctor and I discussed several treatment options, but ultimately I decided the best approach for me was increasing my therapy sessions, taking ibuprofen and a few other supplements, and maintaining a consistent fitness routine. Exercise has always helped me feel grounded when my thoughts begin to spiral.
With consistency and intentionality, I can honestly say that a little over a year later, I am doing a whole heck of a lot better.
Have my symptoms disappeared completely? Not even close. And the reality is, they probably never will.
I recently read that the goal of mental wellness isn't to erase your struggles but to learn acceptance of your experiences and understand how they shape you. That idea has stayed with me because, for so long, I measured healing by whether my symptoms were gone. Now, I'm learning to measure it by how I respond to them.
The diagnosis itself didn't change my life. Understanding it did.
One year ago, my cycle felt like something that happened to me. Every month, I was blindsided by the rage, anxiety, intrusive thoughts, and crushing overwhelm. I didn't understand what was happening, which meant I often blamed myself for it.
Today, I know my patterns. I can usually recognize when symptoms are starting to creep in. I know when I need to slow down, ask for help, reschedule what can wait, and lean into the tools that keep me grounded. PMDD is still part of my life, but it no longer gets to define it.
Over the last year, there are three things I've learned that I wish someone had told me when I was first diagnosed.
1. Awareness Is Powerful
For years, I thought I was failing at managing stress, parenting, and my emotions. Understanding that my symptoms were connected to a specific phase of my cycle changed everything.
Awareness didn't magically make my symptoms disappear, but it did remove a layer of shame. When I started tracking my cycle and recognizing my patterns, I stopped asking, "What's wrong with me?" and started asking, "What do I need right now?"
That shift was life-changing.
2. Treatment Doesn't Have to Look Like Anyone Else's
When I was first diagnosed, I desperately wanted someone to hand me a step-by-step guide that would make everything better. Instead, I learned that managing PMDD often requires some trial and error.
For me, that has looked like more frequent therapy sessions, staying committed to movement and exercise, using supplements recommended by my healthcare team, and giving myself permission to prioritize rest when I need it.
Your treatment plan might look completely different from mine, and that's okay. What matters is finding the combination of tools that helps you feel supported and capable.
3. Healing Doesn't Mean the Symptoms Disappear
This may be the hardest lesson I've learned.
I used to think success meant reaching a point where PMDD no longer affected me. But healing isn't about pretending the hard days don't exist. It's about learning how to move through them with greater awareness, self-compassion, and support.
I still have difficult days. I still experience symptoms. But those days don't send me into the same spiral they once did. I recover faster. I recognize what's happening sooner. And most importantly, I don't make my symptoms mean something about my worth.
If you've recently been diagnosed with PMDD, I want you to know that you're not imagining it, you're not overreacting, and you're definitely not alone.
A year ago, I was exhausted, overwhelmed, and scared of what was happening to me. Today, I still have PMDD, but I also have answers. I have tools. I have support. I have hope.
Most importantly, I've learned that I can trust myself. I've learned that when the waves come, I have what I need to keep swimming.
And while I'm not cured, I am stronger, wiser, and far more compassionate with myself than I was when this journey began.
One year later, that's a victory worth celebrating.
If You're Looking for Support
If you think you may be experiencing PMDD or have recently been diagnosed, know that you're not alone. While everyone's experience is different, these resources may be helpful:
Talk to your healthcare provider. A doctor, gynecologist, psychiatrist, or therapist can help determine whether your symptoms may be related to PMDD and discuss treatment options.
Track your symptoms. Keeping a record of your symptoms and menstrual cycle can help identify patterns and provide valuable information for your healthcare team.
International Association for Premenstrual Disorders (IAPMD)
Find a therapist you trust. Therapy has been one of the most important tools in my own journey, especially in helping me navigate the anxiety, rage, and overwhelm that can accompany PMDD.
Lean on your support system. Whether it's a spouse, partner, friend, family member, or support group, you don't have to carry this alone.
