What Kids Think Adults Should Know

As a daughter of divorced parents who worked full-time during most of my childhood, I did not realize until I, an almost forty-old graduate student, mother, and partner, how much I truly hadn’t learned about the world, and some very basic things that I probably should have learned at a much younger age.  

Kids are naturally curious, and all learn differently due to their cognitive abilities, emotional capacity, and the experiences cultivated around them. When we teach our kids lessons about life, we often neglect things that we may never think of unless it comes up. Avoiding uncomfortable topics means kids miss out on opportunities to develop socio-emotional skills. Social emotional development represents a specific domain of child development. It is a gradual, integrative process through which children acquire the capacity to understand, experience, express, and manage emotions and to develop meaningful relationships with others. If this development isn't nurtured, it can create barriers to emotional regulation  skills such as coping, relating to others, building self-awareness, and being able to respond to the emotions of other people.  

While many of us feel that we have grown up to be “awkward adults,” there are many situations that we should be putting our kids in - ones that allow them the space to grow, share, ask questions, and LEARN! My own parents, who were sometimes working two jobs did the best they could to make time for fun, but often it was easier for them to just prepare dinner themselves or take care of some house thing, rather than teach us what they were doing and prepare us for life. When I had my own kids, this was true when they were little, but once they were growing older and had the skills to begin cooking, cleaning, and even taking care of some things like the car, my life got a little bit easier, and they felt empowered and happy to do more. This started when my youngest, who is naturally curious about the world and wants to be involved in EVERYTHING, was determined to do it all with us. He wanted to join us for everything—from taking out the trash to making breakfast. From pushing all the buttons on the coffee maker to letting the water run wild while doing dishes, he was eager to help - to learn.

My lovely neighbors recently caught some extra salmon when out fishing and gave us two from their fresh catch. I had never processed a fish before -let alone even had one in my kitchen- but that did not stop us from YouTubing a video on how to process it, pack and discard the bones, as well as find new recipes for salmon cakes, grilled salmon, and even how to cook it quickly in the air fryer. Our family enjoyed delicious fresh salmon for weeks, learned some new skills, and now relish in our memories of handling a slippery fish on our dining room table.  

When I asked my kids about what kind of things they think all adults should know, the list was kind of silly at first. However, the more we talked about it, I recognized how important it was for younger kids to truly believe that their parents know everything. And if we didn’t know, we could use that reason to learn together. Here are some of their ideas:  

How to tell when food has gone bad (Kaleb, age 14)- This is coming from a kid who thinks that all food has gone bad, particularly milk. 

How to appropriately cut a mango and a pineapple (Bentley, age 12)- My funny son who loves to eat, but doesn’t enjoy the prep work (or cleanup!) just as much!   

How to change your oil, change a tire, and the brakes on your car (Dylan, age 18)- This is definitely something that I felt I never wanted to do (let alone deal with) but as my oldest son knowingly taught me, there will be a time where Triple A cannot help, and I should also learn to do these things.   

Don’t play with sharp knives or touch the hot stove (Beckett, age 6)- Yes, very important! As adults, I’m sure we can all think of a time where we were not as careful as we should be and reminding ourselves is just as important as reminding our kiddos. 

How to spot a scam and not everything you see online (or even on the news) is real- My son, and his friend fell for what seemed like to them, a very real scam which involved money, Western Union, and a lot of phone calls and texts. Thankfully, the adults in their lives convinced them they wouldn’t get in trouble for not following through. Even recently, I had reported some phishing emails at work, but second guessed myself before doing so. Though we learn to ask ourselves the questions of whether something is true (or not) we also have to be aware of the bad stuff that happens in order to protect ourselves and the people we care about. 

How to turn a mistake into success- This is something that we continue to learn, as individuals, and as a family. While we all make mistakes from time to time, we need to take the time to reflect on it, learn from it, and move on in a way that allows personal growth in a mindful direction.  

A broken person cannot fix another broken person- My kids have shared that through my own divorce and move across the country, that we cannot “fix” anyone else, especially anyone that doesn’t want to be fixed. While my kids have learned this at a young age, and we continue to talk about it, we also must understand that it isn’t our job to fix anyone. I hope that this message carries them though their future relationships, romantic or not, and remember it when they are adults. 

I have learned is that the more we communicate the better. Never stop being curious. Never stop growing, stop talking, and never stop teaching. The skills that our kiddos learn outside of school just by living life will carry them through adulthood and teach independence, self-reliance, and allow them more time and space for bigger and better things, just like ourselves. When they grow into their own personalities and find interests, the story changes in which we begin to share information, and our kids will teach, us just as much as we teach them.