We are all struggling to adapt to the ever-changing world impacted by the coronavirus pandemic. Trying to avoid getting sick, adjusting to social isolation, working from home, and if you have kids, taking care of their needs concurrently has become a massive undertaking. How do you balance it all and keep things running with some sense of normalcy, decorum and efficiency? What works best for me, and my family, is to run my home office and kids’ educational and entertainment needs as a mini business where both operate by guidelines, clear expectations, and communication.

Many years ago, I used to buy really amazing (*cough* expensive *cough*) gifts for my family members at the expense of my own financial well-being. Translation? I charged everything to my credit cards. And, to make matters worse, I would spend that whole next year paying those same credit cards back down to, you guessed it, do it all over again.

Whether you are married or single, live with your parents or on your own, have a large family or small, spend the time alone or with family, navigating the holidays while keeping your mental health protected can be difficult. But it doesn’t have to be impossible.
Here are 8 strategies you can try to help keep your mental health safe throughout the holiday season.

Picture this, you’re 5 years old and it’s show and tell day at school. You wake up so excited that morning and can’t wait to bring all your favorite things with you— that cool doll or action figure, a special rock you found that you swear has magical powers, and a flattened penny you got from the gift shop of the aquarium you went to over the summer. 

“I thought journaling was for little girls.”
“I’m not a writer.”
“I don’t have time to write in a journal.”
“I wouldn’t know what to say.”

As a longtime grief clinician for Jewish Community Services, I frequently encourage people to use journaling to decrease grief symptoms and increase feelings of well-being. Time and time again, however, the responses I receive are those of uncertainty.

The great thing about journaling is that anyone can learn how to do it. Journaling is not the same as writing, where you tend to think about format and perfection of the end result. Instead, you are giving yourself the opportunity to just be in the moment – to feel and to process.

If someone had asked me four years ago how I would react if I found my mother on the floor after an accidental alcohol overdose, I would have told them that I would hyperventilate, scream or cry hysterically. But that’s not what happened. When I found my mother lying motionless next to her bed that early morning in June of 2013, I just froze. I woke my father who was asleep in the next room and then called an ambulance. And if someone had asked me that morning how I would feel four years later, I probably would have told them that I would be living in deep, anguishing mourning. But that’s not what happened either.

“I’m failing as a wife.” This is what I told myself when I took my third pregnancy test with negative results over the course of 26 days since I missed my period. When I wrote “What is your body telling you?” I thought I was back on track with my normal 28 day cycles, but I was wrong. I’m currently on day 53 since the day of my last period.

When the COVID pandemic began, the in-office world suddenly had to pivot to an all-remote work and learning environment. We thought it would be temporary, a few weeks at most. Many of us threw our daily routines out the window just to survive. Overnight, we became work-from-home employees, teachers, and care providers, all while continuing to manage the household. Workflow responsibilities shifted for a large part of the population. Those initial weeks and months of working remotely slowly turned into a year and now here we are, many of us still finding ourselves working in an all-remote environment. With a staggering number of companies deciding that remote work has been successful, they are choosing either to continue with it or adopt a hybrid model.

 We might walk down the street and see a sign that reads, “Don’t Step on Grass” or go to a meeting where the presenter says, “Please turn off your cell phones.”  Most of us will abide. Others may challenge the situation. But we can all agree that limits are being set to protect and safeguard a piece of property or someone’s self-respect. We may even be grateful that these “rules” (reflecting our  goals and values) are made for us and not by us.  Truth be told, setting boundaries can be a painful process. Not only will you occasionally step on some toes, but you also run the risk of clashing with others. 

It's been 6 years since my last paycheck and yet I never miss a day of work. I’ve been a stay-at-home mom since four months before my boys were born. I stepped away from owning my pet sitting business in 2016 when I found out I was pregnant with twins. 

Are you constantly working before or after work hours?  Are you checking your phone for emails or messages all the time?  Are you working through lunch? Are you feeling burned out?  Are you not taking a vacation?  When you take a vacation, are you still working? Are you not going to doctor appointments because you don’t want to make up the hours?  Then this article is for you. 

Meditation is widely recognized as an effective tool for managing anxiety and stress and for increasing feelings of well-being. Dr. Dhillon reminds us that there are many things that we know are “good for us” but often the details of our lives make it difficult to find time to actually get them done. The struggle with meditation is that many people find it difficult to concentrate for even five minutes, so 20-60 minutes feels overwhelming. 

Welcome back for another conversation about money! In my last blog we talked about the importance of self-reflection and knowledge of one’s own money habits and influences. This installment is going to expand on that and address talking with your partner about money— date night, anyone?

This past year has tested us as individuals and a society more than we ever could have imagined. We have endured long months of isolation, unemployment, remote learning, limited social and physical contact, missed celebrations/milestones, and so much more. Some of us sunk into deep depressions, experienced intense anxiety, and felt more fearful than we ever had of the outside world. Some of us contracted the virus, while others watched people close to them grow sick or pass away from COVID-19. 

The reality of experiencing financial hardship and all the associated stress and negativity has been more prevalent this past year, but it’s not a new thing at all. The goals now are to explore how we make financial decisions, identify the connection between money and our physical and emotional health, and chart a path to self-discovery. It’s a journey!

Something felt off this month. My period was ultra-late, later than it’s ever been. I took a pregnancy test and waited— it came back negative, so it had to be something else, but what? Is this my body telling me, “You’re stressed out! Slow Down!”? I had to investigate.  

In the past few years, the #selfcare movement has taken off in the States, with sister hashtags like #treatyoself and #loveyourself, all echoing a clarion cry to type-A workaholics across America.

When I was pregnant, I couldn’t wait for my baby to be born— to hold her, bond with her, smell her. I thought there would be a natural transition into motherhood, given how excited I was. But, it didn’t happen quite how I expected. After a four day hospital stay due to a C-section, we headed home. With family helping out the first two weeks or so, it wasn’t too bad. But once I was alone, it was harder than I imagined. I felt sad.

"If Mom is good, baby is good." — I heard that quote somewhere and it clicked— if I'm feeling good, my kids are good and, therefore, my household feels good. Everyone is grounded. 

The four tenets of Gentle Parenting include empathy, respect, understanding, and boundaries. With this comes different practices for certain scenarios but, for example, if your child is having big feelings, the gentle parenting practice has you show up for your child from a grounded place and let them feel their feelings before naming what happened. Another example would be to sandwich "no" with a yes— that might look like "We can't have another snack right now, but we can have lunch" or "I can't let you play with this, but you can play with that". So basically, you self-regulate yourself and then keep your child safe as their big feelings run their course before assessing the situation and trying to find resolution, all while talking to your child as an equal.